WHAT IS IN THE WAY, IS OFTEN THE WAY

What is in the way, is often the way; the way through to a truer essence of yourself. Life lessons can often be learned by searching just beneath the surface of an issue that is troubling you. The lesson or true meaning may be hidden deeply from you simply because you have diverted your attention away too long, and your issue is now a mounting frustration. Feelings of frustration move you further away from enlightenment. Your frustration has become your new problem, a veritable detour from the problem and from the truth you are meant to discover. How to find the answers, how to find your way through, and learn something meaningful in the process?
Ask what it is that you are avoiding or not giving your full attention to? Stress and suffering are inevitable, but we have a choice about how we react and relate to them. Avoidance, putting your stressor in parenthesis, and moving on without fully addressing it will only make it a greater stressor for you down the road. One must deal with the stressor by recognizing it first. How to do that?
If you are not sure what you are avoiding, meditation could help reveal the answer to you. Meditation comes in many forms: dancing, playing an instrument, creating a work of art, cooking (creating a work of art), gardening, exercising, reading, etc; essentially any activity that silences or focuses your mind for a period of time providing relaxation is a form of meditation. You will have to find what works best for you. Just know that the end result is what is important, mental calm and relaxation lead one to the answers that have been blocked for so long by mental clutter and chaos. Strive to maintain a quiet and observing presence; stop fueling the mind chatter.

Here is one method of intentional meditation:
Sit in comfortable position, play some soft, soothing music, and focus on your breathing. Start with the exhale, allowing it to relieve your body of tension. Feel the tension in your face release, and then your neck and shoulders, inhaling and exhaling as you go the length of your body from head to toe. When thoughts come into your mind, simply notice them without engaging. Each time your mind wanders, gently guide it back to the very next breath. When you are fully relaxed, invite your wise and loving self to emerge. Allow your thinking mind to settle. Welcome your true essence and take this opportunity to ask, "What problem am I not giving my attention to?"
Allow your true self to bring light and knowledge to you; what shift do you need to make in your life that will result in a meaningful change, that will clear the way for you? Hold this space with reverence and patience. Be patient, the answer will come. That which is revealed to you is a reflection of your true self without the outside world views interfering. This true self is here to guide and support you to a clearer perspective and a healthful, peaceful state of mind.

This exercise, sitting with the true essence of yourself, is always available to you when you find that you're thoughts are blocked or in need of clarification. Do not worry if you have trouble reaching a relaxed state at first; pat yourself on the back for the time you've given to the betterment of your health and try again later. Remember, the more you practice, the quicker and clearer the answers will be made available to you. Meditative practice will provide you with an easily accessible tool of calm simply by thinking of yourself in the meditative state. It may be helpful to associate your meditative state with a symbol, one that relates to your spirit, or a word and calling that symbol or word to mind when a bit of calm is needed in the crux of the day.

Best to you, peace and strong health in the New Year.

Victoria Hart
Photo: http://www.brunosart.com/index.html

THAT WHICH BINDS US; AGAPE

At the trial to indict the man who murdered my sister, we waited in the court room corridor for what seemed like forever, before the trial in the morning, and again after lunch and before the afternoon session. The waiting was difficult and anxiety provoking, waiting to walk into a nightmare time and time again, we had to have courage. My family huddled together and "his" family huddled together, each in our own areas. I felt such overwhelming emotions when I saw "his" mother waiting down the hall from us on that first day; I was overcome. I soon found myself standing before the mother of the man who had murdered my sister. I asked her if she was "his" mother, more in the way of introducing one's self, and she said, "yes, I am." I told her June was my sister and she stood up to meet my eyes. Two hearts aching with loss facing one another, we stood. I told her I was sorry for her and she returned the sentiment. We had both lost people we loved when "he" killed June; I lost my sister and she lost her son. We wrapped our arms around each other and with God's Grace we were enveloped in a moment of Peace.

Just at that moment, the court room doors were flung open for us to enter and sit in our separate areas; me with my family in support of my sister and her with hers in support of her son. I took the stand that day to represent June and her life. She took the stand days later to represent her son and the goodness she knew lived within him. I recall feeling some resentment toward her in that moment, it passed quickly as I realized she guarded the dignity of her life in her testimony, just as I had preserved the dignity of my sister in mine.

The mother and I were brought together in that corridor of life and loss, but separated by the hollow belly serpent shaped by the flawed human form. She and I believed in the same God, our expressions toward one another represented our love and faith in that God. We were united in moments that will never leave my memory; we were united by our common faith and belief system, the belief that we are all imperfect beings, children of God. One lesson was seated deeply within me during that worst experience of my life: we are all vessels full of love from the time of our birth and the humanity we share can remain despite the gravest transgression. We all suffer. We are all imperfect and capable of life altering mistakes. Love is all encompassing. No matter what tragedies or ill treatment life serves up, you can choose to replenish and replace the love lost in those moments. Sadly, her son had not made that choice and carried hate in his heart, hate that attacked my sister and took her life.

At that trial, the trial to put away the man that took my older sister's life, I made a different choice. I chose to give absolution. I chose forgiveness. I chose to fill my body, my heart with love, to replenish my soul with forgiveness for all that was taken from me and is still to this day. I CHOOSE PEACE. I choose to fill my vessel with love, God's love. With my choices, I choose life. A choice my sister was not allowed to make.

--Victoria Hart

Rabindranath Tagore--An Indian Poem

I have beautifully spirited people in my life who I need only think about and soon they appear to me as I make my way through the day; I receive a phone call or I run into them at a local shop. It's sounds a bit of what some may consider psychic, but I really believe we all are so closely connected that just a wish is enough energy to bring someone close. I am also very considerate of the energy I send out into the world and towards people I encounter. I know that my positive vibes make them respond positively and kindly, and my negative vibes reciprocate actions and words that tear down my spirit.
I essentially am in power of all that I receive, good or bad, by choosing the energy that I send out into the world and by also, carefully, choosing the energy I surround myself with: upbeat positively focused conversations, open-hearted compassion, filth of the world-ridden shoes left at the doorstep, refusal of violence on the tele, and love, love, love words tossed about my house like iris scented petals.

This poem by Rabindranath Tagore expresses this sentiment so completely and poetically.




THE SAME STREAM OF LIFE THAT RUNS THROUGH MY VEINS
NIGHT AND DAY RUNS THROUGH THE WORLD AND DANCES IN RHYTHMIC MEASURES.

IT IS THE SAME LIFE THAT SHOOTS IN JOY THROUGH THE DUST OF THE
EARTH IN NUMBERLESS BLADES OF GRASS AND BREAKS INTO TUMULTUOUS
WAVES OF LEAVES AND FLOWERS.

IT IS THE SAME LIFE THAT IS ROCKED IN THE OCEAN-CRADLE OF BIRTH
AND OF DEATH, IN EBB AND IN FLOW.

I FEEL MY LIMBS ARE MADE GLORIOUS BY THE TOUCH OF THIS WORLD
OF LIFE. AND MY PRIDE IS FROM THE LIFE-THROB OF AGES DANCING
IN MY BLOOD THIS MOMENT.

Rabindranath Tagore --Nobel Laureate

--Victoria Hart

RISOTTO WITH PORCINI

Creamy risotto acquires an earthy deep flavor with the addition of dried porcini mushrooms. Once each grain of rice is cooked to the properly tender, but still al dente state, and the cheese is added, your risotto might not be as moist as you like; if it isn’t, add some of the remaining stock. I sometimes add dried cherries, about 1/3 cup at the end to broaden the flavor palette.

1 1/2 cups water
5 1/2 cups chicken stock or store-bought low-sodium broth
1 1//4 ounces (about 1 3/4 cups) dried porcini mushrooms--I like a bit more
2 tablespoonfuls olive oil
1/2 stick (4 tablespoonfuls) butter
1/4 cup chopped scallions
1 tablespoonful chopped rosemary (optional)
2 cups Arborio rice (about 14 ounces)
1 cup finely grated/shredded Parmigiano-Reggiano (about 2 ounces), plus additional for serving
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Combine water and 1 cup stock in a small saucepan and heat until hot. Put mushrooms and 1 tablespoon oil in a bowl and pour hot liquid over them. Let soak for 30 minutes.
Lift porcini out of soaking liquid, squeeze excess liquid back into bowl, and rinse well to remove any grit. Coarsely chop porcini. Pour soaking liquid through a fine sieve lined with a dampened paper towel into a large saucepan (or carefully skim liquid from top, leaving grit at the bottom of the bowl). Add remaining 4 1/2 cups stock and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat, cover, and keep at a light simmer.
Melt 2 tablespoons butter with remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a 4 quart saucepan over moderate heat. Add scallions and rosemary, cook, stirring until softened, about 3 minutes. Add rice and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add 1/2 cup stock and cook at a strong simmer, stirring constantly, until stock is absorbed. Continue adding stock, about 1/2 cup at a time, stirring constantly and letting each addition be absorbed before adding next, until rice is tender and creamy but still al dente, 18 to 20 minutes (there will be left over stock).
Stir in mushrooms, remaining 2 tablespoons butter, cheese, salt, and pepper. If necessary, thin risotto with some of remaining stock. Serve immediately, with additional cheese.

Note: Use fresh ingredients!
Victoria Hart

THE THANKSGIVING PIE

My daughter requests pumpkin pie every Thanksgiving, (I was planning on making one anyway) it's just that to her, the Pumpkin pie defines the tradition. Tradition is important to her as it is to many people for the simple reason that it provides a feeling of safety and security; it is something they can count on despite life's uncertainties. She had many years of erratic instability prior to coming to live with her Aunt and Uncle and we work very hard to provide structure and boundaries for her; hopefully we will eradicate her past fears, anxieties, and feelings of abandonment altogether. Pumpkin pie is a small gesture for a big-hearted little girl in need of more love, I'm afraid, than I will possibly ever be able to provide.

Here's my recipe. I hope you enjoy it in as many ways as she does.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Pie with Ginger Streusel

Ingredients
1/2 (15-ounce) package refrigerated pie dough (such as Pillsbury) (I make mine from scratch, if you'd like that recipe, please holler!)
10 gingersnap cookies
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into small pieces
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
pinch of ground cloves
1 (15-ounce) can unsweetened pumpkin
1 (12-ounce) can evaporated fat-free milk
1 large egg
3 large egg whites
Note: I like mine to have plenty of spice flavor; I often really spice it up!--have fun!

Preparation
Preheat oven to 350°.

Roll dough into a 12-inch circle; fit into a 10-inch deep-dish pie plate. Fold edges under, and flute. Freeze 30 minutes.

Place cookies, 2 tablespoons sugar, and flour in a food processor; process until cookies are ground. Add butter; pulse until crumbly.

Combine 3/4 cup sugar and remaining ingredients; pour into prepared crust. Bake at 350° for 35 minutes. Sprinkle crumb mixture over pie; bake an additional 20 minutes or until center is set. Cool to room temperature on a wire rack.

-Victoria Hart

CHOOSING SIDES: ROASTED GARLIC MASHED POTATOES

My husband loves garlic mashed potatoes; I abhor making them, so he helps quite a lot on this one! Don't ask why I hate to make them, something about the starchy residue left on the pan makes me squirm. However, the roasted garlic is so delicious I could just spread it on some yummy toasted slices of bread and be done with it all. If you are like my hubby and want the potatoes to pour your turkey gravy over here is the recipe. Remember, how much butter, salt, and pepper you add is all dependent on your taste, feel free to do what you like, there are no set rules (exception, you must work while the potatoes are hot from the boiling water). I sometimes alternatively use olive oil in place of half the butter.

Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients
Serves 8
• 2 large heads garlic
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 4 pounds all-purpose potatoes, peeled and quartered (you can opt to leave some peeling on for flavor, texture, and fiber content)
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter
• 1 1/4 cups heavy cream (I use sour cream and heavy cream, equal parts instead)
Directions
1. Heat oven to 425 degrees. Slice tops 1/4-inch off garlic heads, and discard. Coat heads with olive oil, and wrap heads in aluminum foil. Bake until tender and golden, about 45 minutes. Remove from oven, and let stand until cool enough to handle. Carefully peel garlic cloves, you may be able to "squeeze" the garlic out of the skin instead; set aside.
2. Place potatoes in a large stockpot, cover with cold salted water, and bring to a boil. Cook until very tender and soft, about 12 minutes. Drain in a colander, and pass through a potato ricer or food mill over a large bowl. I prefer to use a hand masher, I like my potatoes chunky, if you like them smooth, use a ricer.
3. Heat butter and cream in a saucepan until butter has melted and cream is hot. Pour over riced potatoes, season with salt and pepper, and stir well to combine. Stir in the roasted garlic cloves, I tend to mash a few first with a fork- some mashed, some whole added to the potatoes. Serve.

Note:
You can prepare mashed potatoes several hours before dinner, but only use two-thirds of the cream (or cream mixture). Half an hour before serving, place the potatoes in a heat-proof bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water; warm, stirring occasionally, until heated through. Just before serving, mix in the remaining cream.

CHOOSING SIDES: ASPARAGUS SALAD

This is one of my favorite side dishes for any occasion. I have to omit that I pray for leftovers to hide just for myself to chow on later...hmmmmm, little rewards for cooking. This is simple simple, don't let the lengthy look of this recipe scare you off, it's just a bunch of words which translate to very little action and yummy bursts of flavor. Go for it, you won't regret it and your family and friends will think you are an amazing cook!



ASPARAGUS SALAD WITH TOASTED WALNUTS AND GOAT CHEESE
(6 servings)

INGREDIENTS:
1 cup walnut halves (4 ounces)

1/2 teaspoonful fennel seeds

2 pounds medium asparagus

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

1 1/2 tablespoonful sherry vinegar

1 large scallion, white and light green part only, minced

1 tablespoonful chopped tarragon

1 tablespoonful chopped mint

Salt and freshly ground pepper

4 ounces goat cheese, rind removed and cheese crumbled

DIRECTIONS:
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spread the walnuts on a small baking sheet and bake for 8 minutes, or until lightly toasted. Transfer to a plate to cool, then break the walnuts in half lengthwise.

2.) Meanwhile, in a small skillet, toast the fennel seeds over moderately high heat until fragrant and golden, about 20 seconds. Transfer to a work surface and let cool, then finely chop.

3.) Pour 1/2 inch of water into a large pot fitted with a a large steamer basket and bring to a boil. Discard the tough ends from the asparagus and add the spears to the steamer; cover and steam over high heat until tender, about 4 minutes. Transfer the asparagus to paper towels and pat dry. Let the asparagus cool to room temperature, then cut on the diagonal into 2-inch lengths. (You can steam asparagus in your microwave, place wet asparagus on a dinner plate and cover with plastic wrap, place in microwave. Do not overcook; you want the asparagus to be firm, not soggy.)

4.) Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk the olive oil with the vinegar, scallion, tarragon, mint and chopped fennel seeds. Season with salt and pepper.

5.) Add the asparagus and walnuts to the bowl (to the dressing) and toss. Add the goat cheese, season with salt and pepper, transfer to plates and serve. Stand back and wait for the applause!

--VICTORIA HART

THANKSGIVING AND ALL THAT JAZZ

Okay, so if you're cooking Thanksgiving dinner, it's time to start planning your meal. I am hoping to post a few of my favorite side dishes I like to serve up with the bird to help you along.
The recipe posted here is one I made for the first time when I was 13 years old, quite a few years ago, and I have continued to include it each year I cook the Turkey dinner. I have also had great success and received many compliments taking it to other's homes for dinner (when I don't have the full responsibility of the meal).
It is not a traditional accompaniment and that is precisely what makes it so enjoyable. This is a cinch to make. Plan to make a day ahead so that the flavors can meld together deliciously.

CABBAGE SALAD

1 large head cabbage, shredded (I prefer purple cabbage)--so lovely
1 green pepper, sliced very thin
1 red pepper, sliced very thin
1 large onion sliced very thin (again I choose the purple variety)1
1 med. jar pimentos, drained, separate and disperse the pimentos as the top layer
Layer the above ingredients in the given order. DO NOT STIR!
I use a clear crystal glass bowl to create a colorful display, but you can use any type of glass container you like.

Dressing:
The following ingredients are combined in a saucepan and boiled for 2 minutes, stir constantly to prevent scorching.

1 cup salad oil (extra light olive oil, or safflower oil, or vegetable oil)
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup white vinegar
1 1/2 t. salt
1 t. celery seed...maybe a bit more--this really makes the salad pop!

Pour the hot dressing over the vegetables and cover tightly; refrigerate for a minimum of 4 hours. I prepare this the day before.
Note: you can adjust the ingredients to fit any size container you wish to use, just remember to layer and use only enough dressing to reach the top of the vegetable layers, but not more.

ENJOY and Happy Turkey Day
--V

THE END OF THE ROAD

As you travel and I stay
I watch and wonder how I manage to let you go at all
I would rather be the leaver than the one left
Send me a memory
Send me your love

I’m lonely here tonight in the silence
No memory, no love
Your heart is too out of reach even for this passionate one
I ache for you one thousand miles away
I’m tired of being alone and in love with a traveler
I’m disquieted by my own heart, swelled in lust and desperation

I could hold onto your jacket as you head out the door
Next time
I could beg, beg you to stay
Traveling lover, you would still leave
Less of me would be here, left
Less of me is left

Cease holding me, leave me be
Loving myself less and less for staying
My soul steps me toward the door
Preserving what's left
I leave.

-Victoria Hart

"THE CURE FOR ANYTHING..."

Isak Dinesen once wrote, "THE CURE FOR ANYTHING IS SALT WATER: SWEAT, TEARS, OR THE SEA.
I am in need of a cure and lately the sweat creating workouts aren't coming the way they used to, and tears...well, when my niece arrived, the crying stopped. It turned out that my crying disturbed her, so I stopped. Now, I try to cry, I need to cry, I have much emotion to purge, but the crying has stopped, despite my desire to sob a big sloppy one. I feel the urge often, I've lost so much in the past ten years and have much to cry about, but the urge is like the itch before the sneeze that then passes.

The opportunity came, via my husband's job, for us to travel to the Gulf Coast of Florida and I jumped at the chance. I have not been to the ocean's edge for 3 years and am in great need to feel and sync with the rhythm of the tide. In our planning we had much difficulty securing a place to stay, for whatever reason, everything was booked. Finally, after tweaking our dates, we have a plan! The plan, I'm certain was put in place especially for me, by powers of Grace.

This trip to the shore has come at a great time of need for me and my grief. I have understanding and realization now of the sequence of the events leading up to this trip, the necessity for it, and the Providence behind it. Let me explain, in February of 2009, I wrote the following down in my journal about a dream I had of my deceased sister. My sister, if you have been following along you know, was murdered by her boyfriend ten years ago this week. This is what is written in my journal, a premonition of sorts, or perhaps it was more of a subconscious request of mine made 8 months ago:

I dreamed what felt like more of a vision than a dream, that on the night my sister was killed by that man, I was there to help create a different future for both of us. I walked into her room, and without the need for words or one spoken sound, led her by the hand out of the apartment and away from him. We stood out in the street together looking into each others eyes with a knowing. The next time we were together was the present moment. I travelled to her home which set on a beautiful white sanded beach. When she answered the door, this time she took my hand and led me into her home where we sat together for hours just holding each other. The next day we walked hand in hand along the beach, walking where the ocean meets the sand, giggling and flirting with the waves. We laughed and smiled, we sat and talked, we were happy, and time and death had no place in our thoughts. We were together. She was alive, vibrant, and happy. Thoughts of this dream does bring tears to my eyes, happy ones. And I KNOW that she lives somewhere on a beautiful beach awaiting my visit.

I'm making that visit. I hope she joins me in spirit and blesses my broken heart and tormented soul with the same peace I feel when I recall that dream, that vision I had of her and her laughing light.

--Victoria Hart
Painting: Robert St. John http://rstjohnstudio.com/girls_on_beach.htm

JUNEBUG, I TAG THE FLUTTERING SHIRT OF YOU

I lost my sister to a violent death. She was taken from us by another, an angry other, but I try to block that from my mind and recall memories of her. I want to remember HER today, this anniversary of her death. I want to remember who she was, not how she died, struggling and fearful. My mother talks about those last moments of her life and I tell her that what I know in my heart to be true, and only in my heart: Angels came into that room while he was strangling her; they carried her to a more beautiful, serene place of peace while her body remained in the dying.
Ten years have past and I dig in my vaulted memory for the tenderness, her giggle, her playfulness, her, her, her...JuneBug. I am sad today. My soul calls out to her today with loud screaming voice, an aching wail, a sorrowful melody.

This poem by Carl Sandburg comforts me.

SHIRT
I REMEMBER once I ran after you and tagged the fluttering
shirt of you in the wind.
Once many days ago I drank a glassful of something and
the picture of you shivered and slid on top of the
stuff.
And again it was nobody else but you I heard in the
singing voice of a careless humming woman.
One night when I sat with chums telling stories at a
bonfire flickering red embers, in a language its own
talking to a spread of white stars:
It was you that slunk laughing
in the clumsy staggering shadows.
Broken answers of remembrance let me know you are
alive with a peering phantom face behind a doorway
somewhere in the city's push and fury
Or under a pack of moss and leaves waiting in silence
under a twist of oaken arms ready as ever to run
away again when I tag the fluttering shirt of you.

--Victoria Hart
photo credit: Diane Varner dianevarner.com

EGGPLANT LAMB CASSEROLE

I received a recipe for Eggplant from a high school friend recently: "Eggplant Cooked in the Pickling Style" by Madhur Jaffrey. After trying it, I was so inspired by the flavor and the combination of spices, that I decided to take them and a few other ingredients and create a casserole recipe to maximize the full meal effect....meat and veggies all in one. I didn't expect it to turn out so well, but my family and I could not get enough of it. The satisfying feeling this combination of ingredients gives the body creates a cry for more, more, more. I wish I was exaggerating here, but I myself, despite having a very small appetite, could not get enough of it. We had leftovers and used them in soft warm tortillas, and in ordinary sandwiches serving up a delightful change for the palette.
Thank you Leigh for inspiring me. Following the Casserole recipe is Leigh's Eggplant recipe taken from "Madhur Jaffrey's, Indian Cooking" cookbook. I hope you are able to try them both; they are truly delightful!

EGGPLANT LAMB CASSEROLE
2-3 (more is better!) medium size eggplant, cap cut off, cut into slices or wedges about 1/2 inch thick and about 2 inches long
1 tsp whole fennel seeds
1 med sized onion chopped
6 cloves garlic, chopped (I often use the pre-chopped jar version, 2-4 tsp)
1 inch cube of fresh ginger, peeled and coarsely chopped (I use 2 tsp of the pre-chopped jar version sold in the produce department)
3 med tomatoes chopped
1 tsp ground cumin powder
1 Tbs ground coriander
1/4 tsp ground turmeric
1/2 tsp ground cayenne pepper
8 oz sliced mushrooms (optional)
15 oz can tomato sauce
1 1/2 lbs ground lamb (may substitute ground beef or buffalo)
Combine cheese in a bowl:
1 cup smoked Gouda cheese, shredded
1 cup Pecorino-Romano or Parmesan cheese, shredded--bit more, if you like, for topping

Place single (it’s okay to overlap) layers of eggplant on cookie sheets coated with a few tablespoonfuls of olive oil, sprinkle with salt. Bake in preheated oven at 425 degrees F. Roast until fork-tender and brown, keep a close watch so as not to burn. Flip eggplant halfway through cooking process. (You will have more than one pan of eggplants in the oven at one time, be sure to alternate them on the racks while roasting.) Remove when cooked through and set aside.

On the stovetop: Heat skillet with 2-3 tablesponfuls olive oil, add fennel seeds and heat til toasted, add onions, garlic, ginger and cook until onion is transparent, add tomatoes and remaining spices (cumin, coriander, turmeric, cayenne). Cook until well blended and all cooked through. (Mushrooms are added to this mixture when adding spices, cook briefly, al dente, so to speak.) Stir in tomato sauce and remove from heat.

In separate skillet, brown lamb, turn and chop into smaller bits as it cooks. Remove from heat. Drain off oil.

Assemble: In a 9x13 inch baking dish, sides and bottom sprayed with oil, layer ingredients: 1/2 of eggplant, then 1/2 of the meat, then 1/2 of the onion mixture, top with 1/2 cheese mixture, and repeat. (I like a good bit of Pecorino-Romano cheese shredded for the topping, bit less of the Gouda---makes a good crunchy crust.)
Bake approximately 40 minutes, until bubbly, but not burnt!

This is delicious served over spaghetti squash, brown rice, couscous...or eaten alone.
ENJOY! This just gets better and better as leftovers!

--Victoria Hart

Leigh's Eggplant from Madhur Jaffrey's "Indian Cooking":
Eggplant Cooked in the Pickling Style

Serves 6
1 inch cube of fresh ginger, peeled and coarsely chopped
6 large cloves garlic, peeled
¼ cup water
1 ¾ lb eggplant (1 larger or 2 small)
1 ½ cups vegetable oil
1 tsp whole fennel seeds
½ tsp kalonji or whole cumin seeds (kalonji are black mustard seeds, you find them an Indian groceries)
3 medium tomatoes peeled and finely chopped (canned work well also)
1 Tbs ground coriander seeds
¼ tsp ground turmeric
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1 ¼ tsp salt

Directions:
Put the ginger and garlic into an electric blender. Add ¼ cup of water and blend until fairly smooth.
Cut the eggplant into slices or wedges that are ¾ inch thick and about 1 1/2- 2 inches long. Set a sieve over a bowl.
Heat ½ cup of oil in a deep, 10-12 inch frying pan over medium-high heat. When hot, put in as many eggplant slices as the pan will hold in a single layer. Let them turn a reddish-brown color. Turn them over and brown the opposite sides. Remove the slices and put them in the sieve. Add another ½ cup oil to the pan and heat it. Continue browning all the eggplant until done. (Note, I have fried the eggplant and it soaks up a lot of oil. To make the dish a little healthier I now roast the eggplant in the oven. Cut the eggplant as directed, heat oven to 425. Spray so baking sheets with cooking spray and make a single layer of eggplant. Brush top of egg plant with a little oil. Roast for about 15-20 minutes)
Let the eggplant drain for about an hour to get rid of the excess oil.
Put 2 Tbs of oil in the frying pan and heat it over medium flame. When hot, put in the fennel seeds and kalonji. As soon as the fennel seeds turn a few shades darker (this takes just a few seconds), put in the chopped tomato, the ginger-garlic mixture, coriander, turmeric, cayenne and salt. Stir and cook for 5-6

This is a great side or vegetarian dish! Enjoy.

--Auntie V

GETTING THERE

There are many paths to one's destination in life. Sometimes the path we find ourselves on is not the one we would have chosen or planned for our journey. Despite that, the destination is still yours to have if you truly want it. Destinations are not always an actual physical location, for some it is a state of being or state of mind, such as the ideal self.

Don't be discouraged by the obstacles you encounter along the way to your destination. Don't get down on yourself-that behavior is equivalent to buying into the struggle or investing in the obstacle itself, and a belief that you are not worthy of attaining the goal you have set/your destination. Forge onward, despite the path, despite the obstacles, acknowledge them or not, you must simply walk around, move your focus to the place you want to be all the while accepting the here and now. Don't resist or refuse what is being revealed to you in the form of struggles; the path is your schooling. Now is the time to learn, you are being prepared to be the best person you can be when you reach your destination. Enjoy every step.

--Victoria Hart

SO...YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY?

I’m a pretty funny girl, with an off-the-cuff sort of humor, relaxed and quick witted. When I worked as an RN, the staff and I often used humor to deal with difficult, flesh and blood, situations when there was an event or situation that was just too much to emote in any other way; we chose to laugh. Laughter brought us closer together when we couldn’t deal with the reality of the human condition. I’m all for it. I hold myself personally culpable for laughing irreverently behind the scenes. It wasn’t something we talked about later. It was a private uncontrollable expression of our loss or grief or uncomfortableness for the situation we found ourselves in. It was never directed towards anyone with the intent to harm. We were caretakers afterall. We cared. We cared so much, we grieved for people we barely knew. We grieved so many times during one shift, to survive we had to laugh.

Where would we be without humor in our daily challenges? Lost, I presume, sitting dumbfounded on some street corner without a compass. I am beginning to think many people are already lost as reflected in the type of humor they choose to use. Lost in the sense that they follow trends and lack independent thought. What I’m speaking about is the increased prevalence of sarcasm. You see, I don't get "sarcasm"...I mean, of course, I know what it means and I really understand how people make use of it. I strive to live my life expressing kindness and I simply choose to disagree with the use of sarcasm. I choose not to be sarcastic. When sarcasm is directed towards me, I respond with "what, excuse me?" and they often say, like the cat caught holding the bag, "oh, I didn't mean anything...I was being sarcastic." Really? Why say something you don't mean? Either express yourself freely, bravely, accurately or keep quiet and display a little class. Who is laughing by the way?

People wield sarcasm with pride as if it is a reflection of their intelligence or cleverness. I write this to inform you, in my opinion, sarcasm is a coward’s choice; express yourself without cruel innuendoes. Sarcasm speaks harshly and bitterly toward another with intent to wound. Wherein lies the humor? Use sarcasm and you weave a thread of hate into the cloth of your community. People do many things simply because they have observed similar behavior by others, and act without first questioning the ramifications. Ridiculing with words in the name of humor is not only hateful, heartless, and harmful but lacks integrity, and ...I ask again: who’s laughing? Which leads me to wonder if sarcasm is misunderstood by most people; the flock running toward the cliff.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, the least KIND, and I might add, the least humorous. Getting to the bottom of it, the true meaning of this very popular proclivity for insult, stems from the Latin word, sarcasmus, which in turn comes from the Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein, meaning “to bite the lips in rage.” The root word, sarx, sark meaning literally “flesh”- translation: “to cut a piece of flesh (from the person it is directed toward).

Sarcasm is a platform used by the fearful to express their biased opinions toward another, glossing and hiding their feelings behind a tone of sarcasm. If you haven’t learned how to openly communicate your harsh feelings in kind ways, and many of us haven’t, then, for the peace of us all, politely keep them to yourself. If you’d like a bit of help, Webster offers understanding on alternate choices when you feel the need to add levity to the moment.

Forms of wit according to Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary:
Wit, Humor, Irony, Sarcasm, Satire, Repartee mean a mode of expression intended to arouse amusement. Wit suggests the power to evoke laughter by remarks showing verbal felicity or ingenuity, and swift perception, esp. of the incongruous. Humor implies an ability to perceive the ludicrous, the comical, and the absurd in human life and to express these usually without bitterness. Irony applies to a manner of expression in which the intended meaning is the opposite of what is seemingly expressed. Sarcasm applies to expression frequently in the form of irony that is intended to cut or wound. Satire applies to writing that exposes or ridicules conduct, doctrines, or institutions either by direct criticism or more often through irony, parody, or caricature. Repartee implies the power of answering quickly, pointedly, or wittily.

Lastly, I have always held the opinion that wit and all it’s forms all carry with them an underlying whisper of truth, yours, theirs, or ours as a collective.
Here are few quotes from folks who agree:

“ A JOKE IS A VERY SERIOUS THING.” --Winston Churchill

“SARCASM I NOW SEE TO BE, IN GENERAL, THE LANGUAGE OF THE DEVIL; FOR WHICH REASON I HAVE LONG SINCE AS GOOD AS RENOUNCED IT.” --Thomas Carlyle

“WE ARE SUFFERING FROM TOO MUCH SARCASM.” --Marianne Williamson


--Victoria Hart

A TEACHER, A DUMB BLONDE, AND AN AUNTIE...

My child returned home from school yesterday informing me that something had happened in class that just seemed wrong to her. She told me how, while she was clarifying her homework assignment with her Language Arts teacher, the teacher responded, “Don’t stand there and give me that dumb blonde look.” All the children in the room stopped their chatter and stared at my daughter, a few of them gasping with disbelief.

I wish a gasp was all that came out of my mouth. Seething and with a deep sternness to my voice, I struggled to control my rage toward the teacher's actions. I told my child I would be at the school the next day to speak with this teacher and the principal. “But, can’t you just send a note?...” she asked, fearful of further discord. That question sent me off on a teaching tangent of my own with my daughter, I began by explaining to her that her teacher is there to mentor her, protect her, not demean her. I explained that by going to the school we would be taking a stand for what is right on behalf of all the children. All the children in that classroom were harmed by this careless remark, this flagrant label thrown out and onto my little 12 year old girl.

How do I explain this complex issue to my little one? She has studied Hitler and knows a small bit about why we remember, why we discuss him in history, I decided to try by starting there. I reminded her that Hitler began his hate crusade, resulting in the murder of 6 million Jews and others, with one simple speech. One. At first, I'm sure, after hearing his words of "hate" many went home and had their own thoughts and discussions on how they felt about what he said. But, he continued to make his speech, repeatedly (among other tactics) until many people no longer had independent thoughts, no longer questioned or searched for the truth. Labeling, as in "Dumb Blonde,” just one example of many, creates the same mindlessness. Labeling people strips them of their humanity, removes the person from the scene and allows those standing and observing the freedom to feel and further express the hate thrown into the room and onto the person.

Hate clothes itself in many disguises. Name-calling or labeling a person to a particular category or stereotype is a form of hate resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts wherein the recipient or victim of the label will inevitably live up to the expectations and definitions of that label and along with the label comes preconceived ideas, connotations, discrimination, and worst of all, invites hate toward the individual from others, often without conscious awareness. It is a sneaky devil, a hate breeder. Sociologist Howard Becker, developed the Labeling Theory (also known as social reaction theory) in the book “The Outsiders” in 1963. The theory asserts that the process of labeling an individual by someone in a position of authority results in that person living up to the definitions of the label. One creates a situation far worse than the original one.

At the school the following day, I spoke with 2 principals and the Language Arts teacher. Upon my realization that the teacher was herself a blonde, compassion swept over my heart. I decided secretly to hold it there until I heard the teacher tell her side of the story. She did indeed agree that it was possible that she said something of the sort to my child. I expressed all my feelings about this situation to her and informed her that I am a “Seeker of Peace” and this set the tone for our meeting. I refuse the inclination to butt hate against hate, like the song by Todd Snider in which he says, “Fighting for peace is like screaming for quiet.” I do believe approaching a situation with an open heart and a reasonable mind results in a peaceful remedy. I further explained to these mentors I’ve entrusted, that my sister was murdered because of misplaced hate, my child was removed from a home with domestic violence to come live with me, and that my husband and I work very hard to teach our child self empowerment, but despite these reasons, I would still be sitting there making a wrong into a right. Maya Angelou has been quoted as saying and I too will say, “When you stand up, you stand up for everyone!”

Words are powerful, a knife cut heals, wounds inflicted by words almost never do, especially when a child is the recipient/victim. Thirty some odd children witnessed this teacher’s ill behavior and are highly likely to believe it is acceptable now, walking out of the room and continuing the subliminal messages of hate by using the same words. This was of great concern to me. I was there for every child, everyone. I expected an apology to be given to every child in that class along with my daughter. I expected this “slip” of the tongue, as the teacher put it, to be discussed at length with the children, telling them why we don’t generalize and label others, why we don’t use demeaning words, in other words, why we don’t breed hate. A teacher teaching by example.

You must realize, I am on constant watch for the guises of hate. I suffer a loss everyday because of hate. I sage smudge my house if I feel it has been intruded upon with hate energy. I leave the bad, sensationalized, tragic, unnecessary news presented by the media for others to view. I screen movies in my own home, so that I can decide to flip the violence and hate OFF. I guard and protect my heart and spirit because I know firsthand that hate can stealthily creep into your thoughts, and we are surrounded by it, inundated with it in every arena of our lives, from movies, to primetime television, to war games on Facebook, to shoot-em-up simulated video games, and even in the powerful melodies of our music. The brain is a malleable tissue and easily influenced.

Be careful my friends, be cautious about that which you let enter your mind through the media, what thoughts you allow yourself to think-be positive always, what seemingly benign phrases you toss out, who you associate with, what entertainment you engage in...choose wisely, or you too may find yourself, like this teacher, culpable.

By the way, my daughter happens to shine brilliance! The “dumb blonde” in the title....well, you can guess who that is.

--Victoria Hart

A.K.A. BITCHIN' IN THE KITCHEN

During a phone conversation with my brother yesterday, he asked, "What is the name of your blog again?" I began to explain why the name, such a serious name, "Auntie V's Life and Cookery" was chosen for this blog: I am raising my niece-Auntie has become my identity most hours of the day; I have many life experiences to discuss and share (many of you will ride along on that wave with me nodding, "yes, yes, I get that") such as: chronic illness-several; the murder of my sister by the hands of a man in a domestic situation, life and grief as the surviving victim of homicide, loss of a parent to cancer, marriage, adoption, post traumatic stress disorder/dysfunction (there are more applicable 4 letter words to describe this illness, and I'm not talking about "love"), living life following a mild traumatic brain injury, and then there is the life or the non-life of a generalized anxiety disorder agoraphobic, ...you get that picture clearly by now, although I could continue. The cookery part, well, who could bear to write about all the disastrous life bits all the time and besides isn't food a mini vacation? The real reason is that no matter what I am doing, I am doing it, usually, in the kitchen. My brother and I decided at precisely the same moment, consumed with laughter, that the alias name of my blog would be "Bitchin' in the Kitchen."

So welcome to "Bitchin' in the Kitchen" with your host, lost in the midst of certain chaos, touched and displaced by life's shocking blows, yes, you guessed it... Auntie V! I'm not irrational, just consumed by fear, confused by sleepless nights, hypoglycemic reactions or hyperglycemic distortion, post traumatic stress and the panic that comes with that i.e. "shakin in my boots" "can't leave the house" "are you talking to me?" Robert DeNiro paranoia (of course, I'm exaggerating). At times, I'm just an Auntie trying to figure out how to be a Mom. I am, in fact, one excellent cook. Test me, try the recipes.

Where did this life come from? Believe me, it is true, God made mountains so we couldn't see too far down the road. This was not on the 10 year plan, but this has been my life for all of 10 years and for some things, like the Diabetes, much longer than that. I am here to stay, even though at times I wonder how I can cope with one more minute and entertain the thought of running down the street screaming, or some similar escape. I'm not leaving yet, I've got a lot to share with you all and I hope it moves you in some way, hopefully not backward! Most importantly, I'm attempting to take this suffering not in vain, but as a lesson of life, a spiritual path to be followed and shared, to be communicated as the common human experience. I know we are all suffering, but we can do it together with peaceful love and support. We can hold hands just like in Kindergarten and we all will make it across the street together.
I tend to speak directly from the heart, but I enjoy laughing and hope to pass that along some as well.

If you hear me "Bitchin in the Kitchen" just know that the loving compassionate me is still here, seeking peace and understanding, I just sometimes have to lighten up a bit for the sake of us all! Anytime you feel like it, just chime right on in.

--A.k.a. Auntie V

THE EVACUATION OF HOPE

I welcome a guest post today, Susan Murphy Milano. Susan is a violence expert, safety consultant, the daughter and survivor of murder-suicide, author of "Defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe and "Moving Out, Moving On" when a relationship goes wrong. And her new book out in 2010,"Time's Up" how to leave and survive a dangerous relationship ,offers detailed practical information.
This article of Susan's is an accurate representation of life as a surviving victim of homicide.


The Evacuation of Hope
By Susan Murphy Milano


I was a shaken as I read the news headline last week “Domestic Violence leads to yet another death Anne Morell Petrillo. Forget for a moment that this 38 year-old woman whom committed suicide was the daughter of heiress to the Scripps newspaper fortune.

In January of 1993, the then 22 year-old Anne found her mother Anne Scripps Douglas', 47, beaten and unconscious in the master bedroom of her New York home. Her mother never regained consciousness and died in the hospital a few days later. Anne’s step-father, a suspect, was not formally charged at the time for beating his wife to death with a hammer. He eventually committed suicide 3-months later jumping to his death from the exact same place that Anne Morell Petrillo chose to end her life.

In 1989, 5 years earlier, in Chicago, Roberta Murphy, also 47 years of age, would be discovered by her daughter, on the kitchen floor, dead with a bullet to the head. Philip Murphy a decorated violent crimes detective was in the bedroom dead of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head.

The question is, years after her mother’s murder why did Anne Morell Petrillo take her own life? Unfortunately, I know the answer.

The world expects surviving family members of homicide victims to transition the all consuming pain of loss into one of “getting on” or getting over the grief.” When a loved one dies under tragic circumstances the human mind plays the game of “if only I had gotten to the aid of that person” I could have saved them from being killed. If only I did not go out with my friends or not stopped for gas I could have somehow prevented the tragedy. A crime victim plays out the day, hour and moment leading up where the hands on the clock stopped moving to when they received the news or discovered the bloody body as if they were watching their lives while glued to a chair playing on a movie screen. The tragedy is paralyzing.

There are those who seemingly move past the grief like John Walsh whose son Adam was abducted and killed, Marc Klaas whose daughter Polly was sexually assaulted and murdered. But the truth is, they have not, instead each man has bravely channeled their energies to implement laws and hold the legal system accountable for those who prey on innocent and helpless children. Their “purpose driven life” is what allowed them to keep the grief and pain manageable, moving forward to help others.

As a society, there simply is no embrace in the aftermath of tragedy. Society dictates we all move on and as much as we try it is not possible to accomplish. Long after the lines of friends and family surround us in our darkest hour before our loved one is laid to rest, we as homicide victims are forced to proceed with our lives. Promises of remaining in contact by friends and family vanish when we attempt to talk about the tragedy or how much we miss the person. We are not invited out to dinner, nor called to see how we are doing. Instead, the survivor is pointed towards or referred to those in the mental health profession for guidance to assist them with the pain, because they too, those who knew us best prior to the tragedy, do not want to be reminded.

Twenty years have passed since the murder of my mother and suicide of my father. For me and thousands of others, each day is a constant struggle to find the hope and light that fuels our very existence.

Anne Morell Petrillo did not opt out of life because it was easy. She took her own life because society, those who initially surrounded and loved her, evacuated, taking with them the hope and light that she so desperately needed to survive.

Posted by Susan Murphy Milano on "Time's Up"
http://timesupblog.blogspot.com/
http://www.susanmurphymilano.com
http://murphymilanojournal.com
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphy...
http://justiceinterrupted.blogspot.com
http://peace4missing.ning.com

For more information or to get help, please call:
THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
THE NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE AT 1-800-656-4673
All calls are anonymous and confidential.
For information on “Making a safety plan” go to website: http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/plan.shtml or visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline website: http://www.ndvh.org/
Keep in mind, all computer (and cell phone) use can be monitored; use a computer away from home!

LOVE and QUICHE...

My husband prepared brunch for me at his house on our second date. I drove from Denver up high into the mountains to his lovely home on a most gorgeous fall day. When I got there, he had prepared for us fresh fruit, fresh orange juice, and homemade, he made, quiche. I was delighted and it was delicious. After filling our bellies we set out for a hike and the exchange of good conversation. He was a very attractive man, and I should say still is, but I was a bit jaded about guys at the time and it would take more to impress me. No doubt the quiche was good, the hike was lovely, but it wasn't until I was leaving that I really saw him, that I was interested in him. The simplest act can reveal one's true character; as he walked me out to my car he noticed my front license plate was hanging by one screw, he grabbed a screwdriver, climbed under the front bumper, down in the dirt and fixed it without even a second thought. Then he had my attention, and kept it, we were married 8 months later. We are still together after 13 years and when I need him, he is always ready to help. If I'm lucky, he makes the quiche!
I'm not saying this will work for all of you looking to win your love over, but there is conclusive evidence! Starting with the quiche is a good idea.

This recipe takes time, but is simple and it makes a lot, so you can keep it in the fridge and get a few meals out of it. (This also presents well when inviting friends over for dinner or breakfast.)


Crustless Spinach Quiche:

6 scallions, chopped or 1/2 onion chopped
2 jalapenos minced (optional)
2 tspfuls minced garlic
1/2 medium sized red bell pepper chopped (optional)
1 lb baby spinach leaves, or chopped mature spinach leaves

Saute in olive oil first 4 ingredients until tender, add spinach, turn heat down and allow moisture to cook off, this will take several minutes.

In the meantime, in a bowl combine the following:
7 eggs beaten with 1 Tablespoon cream
1 lb Muenster cheese shredded
1/2 lb smoked Gouda shredded
8 oz sliced cremini or button mushrooms
salt and pepper to taste
1 can, 8 oz or 16 oz, canned Salmon, drained, picked over, flaked, (optional-I often opt out on this ingredient, personal preference, but it is a nice change at times and makes much more of a complete meal if added.)

Combine skillet mixture with egg mixture and blend. Pour into 2 qt capacity round casserole dish prepped with cooking spray, (bottom and sides.) Spread evenly in pan, bake at 350 degrees for approximately 45 mins, check center with fork or toothpick for wetness; quiche will continue to cook a bit after removing from oven so a little bit of wetness on fork is desired, use your best judgment here. Allow to cool a bit before serving or refrigerate and serve later chilled.
This is fantastic alone, or served with fruit or a salad.

Remember, it's just food; Have Fun! and Enjoy.
--Victoria

Tortilla Chicken Soup- Even Better!

I made this recipe again today, and as typical to my character, decided I could adjust a few things and make it even better. I think you will find it hits the spot of your soul! Feel free to exercise your own artistic flair.

Chili today, hot tamale, well not exactly...It is cold outside, at least to me, any temp below 70 is cold to me. I'm dreaming of soup to warm my chilly body. This is a simple recipe any one can make and it's especially great to throw together after work when you need something toasty for your bones. There really is no prep work, except for chopping the chicken; it's a no sweat meal! But if you'd like to sweat, make it as spicy as you like by adding more peppers. I like to crunch tortilla chips on top of my bowl with a healthy lump of sour cream, shredded cheese, and chopped avocado. mmmmmm.....It's best served with a beer!


TORTILLA CHICKEN SOUP

(Note--I double this recipe-everything except the chicken, and I add extra chilies to make it spicy hot)

2 Cups Tortilla Chips-I use white corn
1 Seasoned Rotisserie Chicken, boned, skinned, chopped
2 tablespoonfuls Olive Oil
2 19-oz cans Cannellini beans, drained
6 oz shredded Monterey Jack Cheese with jalapeno peppers (1 1/2 cups)
2 4.5-oz can diced green chillies, not drained, (I use hot and mild)
1 14-oz can chicken broth
1 bunch green chives, cut with scissors in small bits
2 pinches cumin

In soup pot: heat oil, add chicken and chives and heat through (add chopped jalapenos at this stage if you want more heat and cook through), add beans, cheese, chilies, broth, heat to boiling. (At this stage, and this is optional, I like to use a potato masher and mash about 2/3 of the beans-I like beans stewed for hours, so I mash them to make it seem as if they have been!) Add crushed tortilla chips and reduce heat to simmer. Simmer, uncovered until chips break down and thicken, stir often! Add water or more chicken broth if needed to maintain medium consistency, like a chili. (campbell's chicken soup is thin consistency). Cook, stirring often, on stovetop for about 30 minutes, or until all ingredients meld.
Serve and top with sour cream, avocado, cheese, chopped chives, and for extra heat chopped jalapenos tossed in. This gets better after a day in the fridge, if you have any left over.

ENJOY,
Victoria

Missing Sister

My sister came to me today in a Spirit Guide meditation. She was dressed beautifully in flowing reds and yellows. We met on a mountain forest trail on a warm sunny day. I held her close to me tightly for the longest time, taking in the smell of her hair, her skin, the feel of her heartbeat against my chest. When she pulled away she looked me in the eye and said, "You need to let go of all of this now." I told her how deeply I wanted to, but that I couldn't remember any of the good times. I felt all I had left of her was her cold form lying in the coffin, the words echoing in the courtroom, the autopsy photos; the smell of death in her apartment. She said, "I'm here with you. I'll send memories of the good times to you, don't worry about me." I couldn't let go of her, she told me to say goodbye, so I did and she walked away.
I struggle to release myself from the grief and all that has come my way since her death. Today, I practiced a type of visualization to further my goal of releasing the trauma and grief from my body. I highly recommend Shakti Gawain's book, "Creative Visualization" as a guide to anyone, to everyone.

I am opening my heart and mind to receive all the good of my sister and release all the memories of her murder's act. God be with me and all of you suffering with loss.

DEAR SISTER,

I MISS YOU SISTER LIKE A THUMB CUT FROM MY HAND.

I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN YEARS,
YOU KEEP CALLING ME IN MY DREAMS.

HOW DO I MAKE MY WAY BACK TO YOU?

ALL NIGHT I SEARCH FOR YOU ONLY TO AWAKEN EXHAUSTED AND ALONE.

YOUR NEED FOR ME CROSSES TIME AND SPACE.
MY NEED FOR YOU, CROSSES ME.

MEMORIES OF YOU CHURN, AGITATE, TOSS AND TURN ME.

I'M SORRY FOR YOU,
I'M SORRY FOR ME WITHOUT YOU.

SINCE YOUR DEATH,
IT HAS TAKEN YEARS FOR ME TO MOVE FORWARD, AT TIMES I FALL BACK STILL.

LIKE A HAND WITHOUT A THUMB, I CEASE TO FUNCTION.

I'M WAITING FOR YOU, BEHIND MY THOUGHTS, IN MY DREAMS.

DO I REALLY EXPECT YOUR RETURN?
********************************************************************************

My sister, June, was murdered by her boyfriend on October 28, 1999. What is it about a 10 year anniversary that makes one stand still? I am haunted, hunted, and caged by grief. I struggle to remember her life, but sadly, I'm tormented by her violent death. Peace come to me, please. I love you JuneBug.

--Victoria Hart

TOMATO CATSUP OR KETCHUP

My Grandmother, faced with the end of summer bounty of tomatoes, created her own catsup recipe for preserving them. She made a hot catsup by stewing together tomatoes, onions, red bell peppers and spices, all kept roughly chopped much like a salsa. Scrabbled eggs served with her catsup is a memory I salivate over. When my Grandfather died, my Grandmother was forced to sell the farm and move to a small house in town, that was the end of the tomato catsup, but not the end of my love affair. Sadly, the recipe was not written down and lost when we lost her.

My Mother and Grandmother use the word catsup; ketchup and catsup are used interchangeably, there is no difference in the actual condiment. Ketchup originated in China as a kind of fish sauce, soy based, no tomatoes at all in the recipe. It was not until it was introduced in the late 1700's to the New England area were tomatoes added. The word catsup is typically used east of the Mississippi. In the 1980's, the U.S. government declared ketchup a vegetable for use in the school lunches; for marketing purposes, producers changed the name across the U.S. to KETCHUP. My Mom still says catsup! or CATCHUP! either word, it's pretty tasty.

I have recently come across 3 recipes for homemade catsup/ketchup which I'd like to share. Give them a try, bet you won't go back to the store bought versions. I found these, of all places, in the magazine-note the irony-"Metropolitan Home." This is simple, basic and has 3 flavor options; my favorite is the Five Spice Ginger.

Classic American Ketchup Recipe:

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp. canola oil
• ½ cup finely chopped onion
• 1 tsp. minced garlic
• 1½ tsp. dry mustard
• ¾ tsp. salt
• 2 lbs. ripe tomatoes (about 4 medium), peeled and coarsely chopped
• 1 tbsp. tomato paste
• ¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
• ¼ tsp. cayenne pepper
• ¼ tsp. mace
• ¼ tsp. ground cinnamon
• ½ tsp. ground allspice
• 1½ tbsp. maple syrup
• ¼ cup cider vinegar

Directions

(1) In a medium nonreactive saucepan, heat canola oil and add onion, garlic, dry mustard and salt. Cook for about 10 minutes, until softened.

(2) Add tomatoes, tomato paste and spices. Cook for about 20 minutes over medium heat, stirring often to prevent scorching. Gently break down tomatoes with the back of a wooden spoon while cooking.

(3) Add maple syrup and cider vinegar and continue to cook, stirring for another 10 minutes, until mixture has a thick sauce consistency.

(4) Purée using an immersion blender or cool briefly before puréeing in a standard blender. Pour into a jar and cool completely before covering and refrigerating. Ketchup will keep, covered and refrigerated, for about a month. Makes 1 pint and can easily be multiplied.

****Variation:

Smoky Saffron Ketchup Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp. canola oil
• ½ cup finely chopped onion
• 1 tsp. minced garlic
• 1½ tsp. dry mustard
• ¾ tsp. salt
• 2 lbs. ripe tomatoes (about 4 medium), peeled and coarsely chopped
• 1 tbsp. tomato paste
• ½ tsp. smoked paprika
• ¼ tsp. saffron threads
• ½ tsp. piment d'Espelette (or substitute ¼ tsp. cayenne pepper and ¼ tsp. red pepper flakes)
• 1 tbsp. honey
• ¼ cup sherry vinegar

Directions

(1) In a medium nonreactive saucepan, heat canola oil and add onion, garlic, dry mustard and salt. Cook for about 10 minutes, until softened.

(2) Add tomatoes, tomato paste and spices. Cook for about 20 minutes over medium heat, stirring often to prevent scorching. Gently break down tomatoes with the back of a wooden spoon while cooking.

(3) Add honey and add vinegar and continue to cook, stirring for another 10 minutes, until mixture has a thick sauce consistency.

(4) Purée using an immersion blender or cool briefly before puréeing in a standard blender. Pour into a jar and cool completely before covering and refrigerating. Ketchup will keep, covered and refrigerated, for about a month. Makes 1 pint and can easily be multiplied.

**Variation:

Five-Spice Ginger Ketchup Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp. canola oil
• ½ cup finely chopped onion
• 1 tsp. minced garlic
• 1½ tsp. dry mustard
• ¾ tsp. salt
• 2 lbs. ripe tomatoes (about 4 medium), peeled and coarsely chopped
• 1 tbsp. tomato paste
• 2 tsp. freshly grated gingerroot
• ¾ tsp. five-spice powder
• ½ tsp. cayenne pepper
• 1 tbsp. light brown sugar
• ¼ cup rice vinegar

Directions

(1) In a medium nonreactive saucepan, heat canola oil and add onion, garlic, dry mustard and salt. Cook for about 10 minutes, until softened.

(2) Add tomatoes, tomato paste and spices. Cook for about 20 minutes over medium heat, stirring often to prevent scorching. Gently break down tomatoes with the back of a wooden spoon while cooking.

(3) Add light brown sugar and rice vinegar and continue to cook, stirring for another 10 minutes, until mixture has a thick sauce consistency.

(4) Purée using an immersion blender or cool briefly before puréeing in a standard blender. Pour into a jar and cool completely before covering and refrigerating. Ketchup will keep, covered and refrigerated, for about a month. Makes 1 pint and can easily be multiplied.


Remember, Have Fun! and Enjoy!
--V

LOVE and QUICHE...

My husband prepared brunch for me at his house on our second date. I drove from Denver up high into the mountains to his lovely home on a most gorgeous fall day. When I got there, he had prepared for us fresh fruit, fresh orange juice, and homemade, he made, quiche. I was delighted and it was delicious. After filling our bellies we set out for a hike and the exchange of good conversation. He was a very attractive man, and I should say still is, but I was a bit jaded about guys at the time and it would take more to impress me. No doubt the quiche was good, the hike was lovely, but it wasn't until I was leaving that I really saw him, that I was interested in him. The simplest act can reveal one's true character; as he walked me out to my car he noticed my front license plate was hanging by one screw, he grabbed a screwdriver, climbed under the front bumper, down in the dirt and fixed it without even a second thought. Then he had my attention, and kept it, we were married 8 months later. We are still together after 13 years and when I need him, he is always ready to help. If I'm lucky, he makes the quiche!
I'm not saying this will work for all of you looking to win your love over, but there is conclusive evidence! Starting with the quiche is a good idea.

This recipe takes time, but is simple and it makes a lot, so you can keep it in the fridge and get a few meals out of it. (This also presents well when inviting friends over for dinner or breakfast.)


Crustless Spinach Quiche:

6 scallions, chopped or 1/2 onion chopped
2 jalapenos minced (optional)
2 tspfuls minced garlic
1/2 medium sized red bell pepper chopped (optional)
1 lb baby spinach leaves, or chopped mature spinach leaves

Saute in olive oil first 4 ingredients until tender, add spinach, turn heat down and allow moisture to cook off, this will take several minutes.

In the meantime, in a bowl combine the following:
7 eggs beaten with 1 Tablespoon cream
1 lb Muenster cheese shredded
1/2 lb smoked Gouda shredded
8 oz sliced cremini or button mushrooms
salt and pepper to taste
1 can, 8 oz or 16 oz, canned Salmon, drained, picked over, flaked, (optional-I often opt out on this ingredient, personal preference, but it is a nice change at times and makes much more of a complete meal if added.)

Combine skillet mixture with egg mixture and blend. Pour into 2 qt capacity round casserole dish prepped with cooking spray, (bottom and sides.) Spread evenly in pan, bake at 350 degrees for approximately 45 mins, check center with fork or toothpick for wetness; quiche will continue to cook a bit after removing from oven so a little bit of wetness on fork is desired, use your best judgment here. Allow to cool a bit before serving or refrigerate and serve later chilled.
This is fantastic alone, or served with fruit or a salad.

Remember, it's just food; Have Fun! and Enjoy.
--Victoria

SPIRIT TRIBES

The greatest joy in writing and sharing what I write is that people are free to take their mood and emotion and apply it to what I share. They feel unified, acknowledged, and validated as if I'm speaking only to them and I understand, and they, in turn, understand me. I am driven to write to foster this relationship with others; discovering and strengthening the common thread between us.

I have a few special friends that are songwriters. Their song is sung and each member of the audience has their own personal experience to apply to the words, their own life's perspective comes into view just a little clearer for them.

I have often said, I wish I could sing beautifully so other's lives were embellished with joy from my voice. I can't sing, but I can try to write something worth your time, something that makes you feel your heart beat in your chest just a little stronger, something that takes your breath away, something that makes you think a new thought, heartens or inspires you. I hope to gift those of you taking time to read my words with some form of validation and love.

I wrote the following poem after meeting one of my songwriter friends. It's not about love, although if you want to read it that way you can, but rather about recognizing another's spirit. We are all in this together and some of us have been hanging out closely, often unbeknownst to us, for many many lifetimes. We are of the same spirit tribe. I need all of you, all of the time.

I can't wait to meet more of my spirit tribe!!

Here is the poem, I hope you like it.

********************************************************************
Spirit Tribe

I met you in a song you sang

Your spirit revealed itself under the music.

In that moment, I knew I'd met you before.

You recognized me as well, pulling me into you, holding me
tight like a lost friend found.

We ARE from the same spirit tribe.

We have travelled together in other lives.

In this life, we have come too far alone.

Will we overcome the lost time....?

Habits of this life without you,
Habits of your life without me?

Your spirit pulls me like a ribbon wrapped round my heart,
tender and strong. Relentless...
I get no rest from it.

Where ever you are, part of me leans in that direction.
Lonely misery owns (parts of) me.

Sing me a song sweet bird.
********************************************************************

Victoria Hart

TOO TIRED TO CARE...

TOO TIRED TO CARE...
Ever have that feeling that you are too tired to care? too tired to do anything about what it is you really care about, tired of fighting for what you want? All the while, there is the part of you that still cares standing in the shadows watching, voiceless, not because things don't matter anymore, but because the part that is too tired also happens to be the stronger part of you at the time...self preservation, perhaps. Sometimes giving up is an action of saving oneself for a stronger fight, a stronger stand, at a later time.
When you find yourself giving in or giving up, notice it with reverence instead of discouragement. Try not to get down on yourself, your strength will return. Honor your choice not to care and honor your body with rest and loving kindness. Be kind to yourself. Engage in therapeutic behaviors that restore your spirit.
When I'm too tired to care, it is often because I'm way behind the 8 ball in looking after my own needs, they pile up like laundry after a long vacation. Most of my "too tired,” is psychological fatigue. I lose hope. I'm too tired to hope for a better day. Where do I begin? Then I remember, it is always the same answer: one step in front of the other and repeat. Before long, I have completed one task and feel a boost of self placement; ready to move onto the next task and so forth.
When my father was alive, he would always end our telephone conversations with "Keep Your Chin Up"...his voice rings through my mind; to honor him and his love for me, I think in mantra formation, "I'm keeping my chin up." That's my first step. My second step: practice gratitude, simply look around and find one thing that represents love, life, nature, or faith. Nature is the perfect place to find faith. Vegetation and animals don't question the next moment, they live in the present, they believe with faith that moment which comes next will provide all that they need.
Lately, I've been much too tired to care. I practiced my mantra, my gratitude, and I got dressed and drove to my doctor appointment yesterday. On the way home, I was feeling very proud of myself, capable even. Then I was tripped and tested; while driving down a busy neighborhood street, two squirrels ran out to cross the street, one playfully chasing the other, about a block ahead of me. Several cars were traveling in front of me and I watched as the squirrels realized the threat and one ran back, the other ran across the street. As I approached, I expected the second squirrel to run out, but found instead the first squirrel lying in the road injured after running under a car. I pulled over, grabbed a glove from my glove box, walked the block back and waited while traffic stopped and veered around the injured squirrel to miss running it over again. I walked out to her and with gloved hand lifted her from the street, her side was busted open, and as she looked up at me, I spoke softly to her. I laid her down in a mound of ivy on the edge of a yard, and she let go and was gone. I felt her thank me. I heard her partner screeching from the tree across the street. Curiously, I felt no sadness, instead I felt blessed. Blessed to have been a part of that sweet creature’s last moment, blessed to have been there to carry her from the pavement and into a dignified resting place. I think she felt blessed as well.
On the drive home, I realized that my "keep your chin up" mantra and carrying myself with faith, allowed me to help someone, to do something for another being. Something that mattered. I realized, I was not "too tired to care."

--Victoria Hart


(You have to pay attention to catch the good stuff.)

"A FEW OF MY FAVE THINGS"

These are a few things that make me smile and settle my soul. I feel calm in the presence of a soulful cow. I feel my creator in the Colorado mountains and wildflowers, especially when graced with bees and butterflies. My yard is filled with birds, birds, birds, who sing passionately to me. I work my garden with a meditative spirit; this is my first try at growing eggplants-this poor fella probably won't mature before the cold sets in. I am gratefully blessed with Yorkies!, big and small ones. Something magical happens when a dragonfly stops by and sits on my shrub, he, by the way, was quite the camera show dog! Who doesn't love sunflowers?
I hope you find a moment of peace, laughter, and joy here. Welcome to my heart.

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