G-BABY

Loving you has been the joy of my life.
Smooth roads turned rocky for us quickly
And you stayed.
Our love grew stronger in the strife.

Sent from a wish I blew to the heavens, you came to me.
You came to save me before I knew I needed it.
You came to carry me through tragic times
And challenges I had yet to foresee.

You loved me when no one else would.
When my sister died it was you who stood behind me catching my fall.
You’ve done for me all and more than even you thought you could.
You came to hold me every time I called.

I am both a child and a woman in your arms.
You rock and comfort me with your strength and tenderness.
You stand against the world that means to harm.
I am your angel, your Princess, and I am clearly your mess.

You saved me, carried me, more days than I can thank you for.
I am here for you whenever you need me my sweet man.
I promise, I promise I’m yours, I’m here forever more.
I will do for you everything that I can.

Loving you has been the joy of my life.
Our love grew stronger in the strife.

TOO TIRED TO CARE...

TOO TIRED TO CARE...
Ever have that feeling that you are too tired to care? too tired to do anything about what it is you really care about, tired of fighting for what you want? All the while, there is the part of you that still cares standing in the shadows watching, voiceless, not because things don't matter anymore, but because the part that is too tired also happens to be the stronger part of you at the time...self preservation, perhaps. Sometimes giving up is an action of saving oneself for a stronger fight, a stronger stand, at a later time.
When you find yourself giving in or giving up, notice it with reverence instead of discouragement. Try not to get down on yourself, your strength will return. Honor your choice not to care and honor your body with rest and loving kindness. Be kind to yourself. Engage in therapeutic behaviors that restore your spirit.
When I'm too tired to care, it is often because I'm way behind the 8 ball in looking after my own needs, they pile up like laundry after a long vacation. Most of my "too tired,” is psychological fatigue. I lose hope. I'm too tired to hope for a better day. Where do I begin? Then I remember, it is always the same answer: one step in front of the other and repeat. Before long, I have completed one task and feel a boost of self placement; ready to move onto the next task and so forth.
When my father was alive, he would always end our telephone conversations with "Keep Your Chin Up"...his voice rings through my mind; to honor him and his love for me, I think in mantra formation, "I'm keeping my chin up." That's my first step. My second step: practice gratitude, simply look around and find one thing that represents love, life, nature, or faith. Nature is the perfect place to find faith. Vegetation and animals don't question the next moment, they live in the present, they believe with faith that moment which comes next will provide all that they need.
Lately, I've been much too tired to care. I practiced my mantra, my gratitude, and I got dressed and drove to my doctor appointment yesterday. On the way home, I was feeling very proud of myself, capable even. Then I was tripped and tested; while driving down a busy neighborhood street, two squirrels ran out to cross the street, one playfully chasing the other, about a block ahead of me. Several cars were traveling in front of me and I watched as the squirrels realized the threat and one ran back, the other ran across the street. As I approached, I expected the second squirrel to run out, but found instead the first squirrel lying in the road injured after running under a car. I pulled over, grabbed a glove from my glove box, walked the block back and waited while traffic stopped and veered around the injured squirrel to miss running it over again. I walked out to her and with gloved hand lifted her from the street, her side was busted open, and as she looked up at me, I spoke softly to her. I laid her down in a mound of ivy on the edge of a yard, and she let go and was gone. I felt her thank me. I heard her partner screeching from the tree across the street. Curiously, I felt no sadness, instead I felt blessed. Blessed to have been a part of that sweet creature’s last moment, blessed to have been there to carry her from the pavement and into a dignified resting place. I think she felt blessed as well.
On the drive home, I realized that my "keep your chin up" mantra and carrying myself with faith, allowed me to help someone, to do something for another being. Something that mattered. I realized, I was not "too tired to care."

--Victoria Hart


(You have to pay attention to catch the good stuff.)

Dedicated to the Guests of My Life; words to carry you.

I am weary from working on getting my blog site set up, all the networking, and registering that comes with that. I've needed to call upon my toolbox of resources today to keep moving forward. In my grief, following my sister's death, I stumbled upon a book of meditations at the bookstore, not really looking for anything in particular I found myself blessed with every page in the years that followed. I have since gifted copies to several people over the past 10 years with the hopes that it would carry them the way it carried me on the days I felt my faith slipping from me, like sand through my fingers into an ocean of grief.
My copy of "Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working through Grief" written by Martha Whitmore Hickman, has most every page dog-eared or stuffed with the nearest scrap of paper I could reach to mark my essential hold-me-together-that-moment life jacket of inspirational words.
I'm not sad today, just tired. Fatigue burdens my spirit as heavily as sadness. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book I count on to boost my spirit; just a little kick...

"Watch your way then, as a cautious traveller; and don't be gazing at that mountain or river in the distance, and saying, "How shall I ever get over them?" but keep to the present little inch that is before you, and accomplish that in the little moment that belongs to it. The mountain and the river can only be passed in the same way; and, when you come to them, you will come to the light and strength that belong to them." ---M.A. Kelty

"Why not" is a slogan for an interesting life." --Mason Cooley

"Love is the heartbeat of all life." --Paramahansa Yogananda

"Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat is possible-not to have run away." --Dag Hammarsjold

"For everything there is a season...a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..." --Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

"Spirituality is that place where the utterly intimate and the vastly infinite meet." --Rick Fields

"Faith is the bird that feels the light And sings when the dawn is still dark." --Rabindranath Tagore

"Where there is great love, there are always miracles." --Willa Cather

"Feeling light within, I walk." --Navajo Night Chant

"Even in the dark you have the power to whistle." --Frederick Buechner

"It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so, my friends." --George Macdonald

"Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. I mean, do not be disturbed because of your imperfections, and always rise up bravely from a fall. I'm glad that you make daily a new beginning; there is no better means of progress in the spiritual life than to be continually beginning afresh." --Francis De Sales

"At every point in the human journey we find that we have to let go in order to move forward; and letting go means dying a little. In the process we are being created anew, awakened afresh to the source of our being." --Kathleen R. Fischer

"Joy comes from simple and natural things, mists over meadows, sunlight on leaves, the path of the moon over water. Even rain and wind and stormy clouds bring joy, just as knowing animals and flowers and where they live." --Sigurd F. Olson

"He did not say: You will not be troubled, you will not be belabored, you will not be disquieted; but he said: You will not be overcome." --Julian of Norwich

"When you pass through the waters I will be with you: and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." --Isaiah 43:2

"Never forget that you are not alone. The Divine is with you, helping and guiding. He is the companion who never fails, the friend whose love comforts and strengthens. Have faith and He will do everything for you." --Aurobindo (Hindu)

"I pray to the birds because I believe they will carry the messages of my heart upward. I pray to them because I believe in their existence, the way their songs begin and end each day--the invocations and benedictions of Earth. I pray to the birds because they remind me of what I love rather than what I fear. And at the end of my prayers, they teach me to listen." Terry Tempest Williams

"The moment comes when our eyes are opened, and we see and realize that grace is infinite. Grace, my friends, demands nothing from us but that we shall await it, in confidence and acknowledge it in gratitude...that which we have chosen is given us, and that which we have refused is also, and at the same time granted us...that which we have rejected is poured upon us abundantly." --Isak Dinesen

"How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick, til rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself, In the mystical moist night air, and from time to time, Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars." --Walt Whitman

"When I lay (my) questions before God, I get no answer. But a rather special sort of NO answer. It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, 'Peace Child; you don't understand." --C.S. Lewis

This last one I share is dedicated to all of you who visit this site, read these posts, and support me every day with your presence and inspirational comments. I liked this one so much I named one of my Yorkies, Guest!

"Guests of my life, You came in the early dawn, and you in the night.
Your name was uttered by the Spring flowers and yours by the showers of rain.
You brought the harp into my house and you brought the lamp.
After you had taken your leave I found God's footprints on my floor." --Rabindranath Tagore

Thank you.

Martha Whitmore Hickman web url: http://marthawhitmorehickman.com/index.htm

--Victoria Hart