Friday, October 9, 2009


During a phone conversation with my brother yesterday, he asked, "What is the name of your blog again?" I began to explain why the name, such a serious name, "Auntie V's Life and Cookery" was chosen for this blog: I am raising my niece-Auntie has become my identity most hours of the day; I have many life experiences to discuss and share (many of you will ride along on that wave with me nodding, "yes, yes, I get that") such as: chronic illness-several; the murder of my sister by the hands of a man in a domestic situation, life and grief as the surviving victim of homicide, loss of a parent to cancer, marriage, adoption, post traumatic stress disorder/dysfunction (there are more applicable 4 letter words to describe this illness, and I'm not talking about "love"), living life following a mild traumatic brain injury, and then there is the life or the non-life of a generalized anxiety disorder agoraphobic, get that picture clearly by now, although I could continue. The cookery part, well, who could bear to write about all the disastrous life bits all the time and besides isn't food a mini vacation? The real reason is that no matter what I am doing, I am doing it, usually, in the kitchen. My brother and I decided at precisely the same moment, consumed with laughter, that the alias name of my blog would be "Bitchin' in the Kitchen."

So welcome to "Bitchin' in the Kitchen" with your host, lost in the midst of certain chaos, touched and displaced by life's shocking blows, yes, you guessed it... Auntie V! I'm not irrational, just consumed by fear, confused by sleepless nights, hypoglycemic reactions or hyperglycemic distortion, post traumatic stress and the panic that comes with that i.e. "shakin in my boots" "can't leave the house" "are you talking to me?" Robert DeNiro paranoia (of course, I'm exaggerating). At times, I'm just an Auntie trying to figure out how to be a Mom. I am, in fact, one excellent cook. Test me, try the recipes.

Where did this life come from? Believe me, it is true, God made mountains so we couldn't see too far down the road. This was not on the 10 year plan, but this has been my life for all of 10 years and for some things, like the Diabetes, much longer than that. I am here to stay, even though at times I wonder how I can cope with one more minute and entertain the thought of running down the street screaming, or some similar escape. I'm not leaving yet, I've got a lot to share with you all and I hope it moves you in some way, hopefully not backward! Most importantly, I'm attempting to take this suffering not in vain, but as a lesson of life, a spiritual path to be followed and shared, to be communicated as the common human experience. I know we are all suffering, but we can do it together with peaceful love and support. We can hold hands just like in Kindergarten and we all will make it across the street together.
I tend to speak directly from the heart, but I enjoy laughing and hope to pass that along some as well.

If you hear me "Bitchin in the Kitchen" just know that the loving compassionate me is still here, seeking peace and understanding, I just sometimes have to lighten up a bit for the sake of us all! Anytime you feel like it, just chime right on in.

--A.k.a. Auntie V


  1. From Facebook:
    Mike wrote:

    "Your blog post made me weep.

    I am saddened and sympathetic for your loss.

    You are blessed to be able to raise your niece, and wonderful to choose to do it.

    You have my respect for your perseverance through your challenges, and for your openness.

    I'm glad to get to "meet" you through facebook.

    holding hands"

  2. Ahh, see how life works? I have a very serious anxiety disorder - have had my whole life. I take meds to keep it under control, and it is only that - under control. The subtitle of my blog ain't called Tales of Art & Anxiety for nothing. I so get the keeping you from leading your life feeling. So we have something more than Kevin in common. Of course - I could feel it all along.

    :) Debi

  3. Life can be cruel sometimes and I am glad you can still see humour within the chaos. Despite your heartbreaking lows, I see in your writing a strong person with determination to live. That is very admirable in a person and it will take you far even if it seems unlikely at times. I smile at your courage and I look forward to many more intersting posts from you. :)

    Funkkeejooce @

  4. Hi Dearheart, after an almost heart attack over the loss of my laptop with everything I've written over the past three years on it, and finding out that the backup hadn't worked since August of 2008 (operator error), a gut renching two days before I could get to a PC guru in Longview to find out if all was - indeed lost - the grace that has followed me all my life stepped in again and after eleven days, the hands on requests for self healing WORKED and the laptop suddenly turned on...all intack, no loss, back up working now. God!!! Life is GOOD!!!! (Is that really all one sentence??) I'm up and running on my own laptop again.

    You've done it again, beautiful Victoria. Your "BintheK" is perfect, your explanation wonderful and your logic shared and easy to comprehend. Reading it I was sitting right there in the kitchen with you, watching as you scurried about making a cup of that delicious herb tea. And now, late at night (I also suffer sleeplessness in perpetuity) I sit writing to you and listening to your music selections. It soothes me and maybe I can lay down for a few minutes and just ease the stress in my neck and back. I'll be dropping by again now. Blessings on all, Connie

  5. Yea! for the laptop resurrection! Hope you rested peacefully. Thank you. Thanks to all of you for your support. It is what keeps me writing here.

  6. Victoria -- I came to your site from NothingProfound. I just clicked on the first comment that interested me. I'm glad I did.

    I like the way you think and I like your music very much. You really got me with this line, "God made mountains so we couldn't see too far down the road." Those mountains can be tough, but something tells me you've got a mighty strength inside you.

    I'm not always religious, but the thought that keeps coming to my mind is that "God only gives you what you can handle." However, I would add "even if you don't agree with God."

    So keep "bitching in the kitchen" and I'll keep reading:~)

  7. Thank you Sara, I'm so happy you happened upon my blog, thanks for the feedback as well. I think if I knew what was coming my way, I would have run!!!! ha...mountains!