I HAVE HOPE FOR THE HUMAN RACE

It has been a tragic summer in Colorado. We have had several wild fires due to the drought and severely high temperatures for the state. Worse still, last week, we as a state, were once again victims of a mass shooting. This is the 3rd tragedy of this kind since I moved here in 1993...the Chucky Cheese shooting, Columbine, and this week's, Aurora shooting.
I hesitate to blog about it, as I have been guarded about what news I take in or allow myself to hear or read, for fear the violence will inhabit my body as I know so well that it has the potential take me down. I know what life is like for that of the victim's loved ones. If you have read any of my blog, you know about me, that my sister was murdered by the hands of her angry boyfriend, you know my story. If you know me, you know I suffer from this violence on a daily basis. Without boundaries, I have the ability to empathize til I'm physically unable to move. I kid you not. I know that as the days go by, other events in Colorado will take over and folks will speak less and less about the Aurora shooting; I know life goes on. I know folks say things to the survivor victims and the family victims as if one could grieve enough, or cry enough, or fear enough, and so "now, get over it." It doesn't work that way. We are love beings and when our world clashes with hate, we do not, as much as we think, adapt. We watch violent entertainment like children with candy. I can tell you, violence is not entertainment. These survivors know this now as I do. I am not amused with killings on the screen. I know what murder is. It's not entertaining. It's not humorous.

 I know that life changes in the most unimaginable ways following murderous violence for the survivors, ways that you cannot understand unless you've been initiated into this unpopular club. I can tell you that you do not know what violence is really like, what evil looks like, until you've seen it from this vantage point. A curtain has been drawn for us and child-like innocence and fearlessness is no more. Humans don't adjust to exposure to violence, we hold it trapped in our bodies until something happens to awaken it and then, off we go again into a state re-experiencing the event: fear, pain, loss, anxiety, increased boundaries, fear of crowds, sleeplessness, loud noises, fear of others, fear... Open your heart to us, be patient, give support, offer whatever you can to ease us through the difficult days.

The only bit of film I've watched at any length about the Aurora shootings, was the tiny bit captured of actor, Christian Bale's visit. I still can't release the burden that appeared on his face when he was at the memorial. I can't understand why folks expected him to come. I struggle with understanding too much and I ask myself, "how is this relevant to me and my experience."  I know how the victim's families feel, but what I can't empathize with and I struggle to feel is Christian's position. How awful it would be to be brought into a crime by the perpetrator as if you were somehow pushing his buttons, you too are responsible; responsible for someone's misinterpretation of your art and people died. My heart goes out to him, what a burden, what a shame.

Please don't allow jokes to arise about this crime, it only minimizes the tragedy and the loss and the pain of those who survive. It's a little too inhumane...find another way to cope if you feel uncomfortable. Put arms around someone and give and get a hug. Let's push love out and around us and cushion the world with it.  Give love as much as possible wherever you are and never, never de-humanize yourself in any situation, whether it be on the phone with a bill collector or behind the wheel of a car or waiting in a line too long. Give love, fight back with love. I HAVE HOPE FOR THE HUMAN RACE.