Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; It’s in everyone.
As we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
In posting this, I'm attempting to express, in the most graceful manner, the struggle I'm having with a girlfriend who, of late, turns out to be against me and my "brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous" self. Lately, instead of being the ever-supporting, encouraging friend we all need, she blasts me with derogatory comments about my silvering hair, my inability to stay well, my lack of outside employment, my care for my Yorkies, my daughter, my sculpture abilities, ...the list is large. I struggle to break away from her friendship, knowing that there must be something painful happening in her life for her to want to cause me such pain, perhaps, without knowledge. I'm angry at her and really don't want to be around her anymore. In fact, I have chosen not to attend certain events lately, because she was going to be there. I don't want to feel bad about myself and I don't want someone feeling that are at liberty to tear me down just because I am nice and they think we are friends. I suppose we are not, not right now anyway. Avoiding her is hurting me further, so instead, I'm choosing to be true to the glorious beauty God has rooted within me and, for the time being, to pull away from the darkness this "friend" shadows me with. Someday, I'll be able to support her and remind her that her light is her power, if she is open to it, but for now, I must give myself permission to expand and grow in order to strengthen the self-esteem I've allowed her words to damage. I'm going to live to honor God's goodness, God's gift to me...I can help more people by living this way. It is always difficult to pull yourself up after someone has crushed you, but it is always the only choice.